Whiteness at Work: A Glossary and Primer for The Emerald City, and Elsewhere
by Drego Little
Hello newly arrived person of color! Welcome to Seattle, where the rain is romantic and the racists…smile. No doubt you are a little confused about what has been happening to you and have questions: Isn’t Seattle supposed to be a liberal city? Aren’t people supposed to be friendly? Why do I feel like I’m in an episode of The Twilight Zone where only I can see the racism?!
Don’t fret, you are not alone. As a Black man who is from Seattle (yes, that happens) I have written this short guide to help you in your journey down the racial rabbit hole. It is focused on the workplace because that is the one place you have to be. You may find that these ideas apply to social situations as well because Whiteness is very consistent across settings. And who doesn’t like consistency!
It is helpful to think of Whiteness as a creature constantly admiring its own reflection in a mirror.
Diversity (not antiracism): Whiteness loves to have its wardrobe admired and you, brown person, are an essential accessory. You see, Whiteness is convinced that it has good intentions and that these intentions are enough to keep it from being called racist (such an ugly term!). So, the decorative diversity that accepts your presence is the kind that is most revered. Remember, when Whiteness talks about diversity it does not mean power sharing, that could lead to discussions about institutional racism and really, who wants to listen to an accessory complain once it has been allowed to be part of the outfit? So rude!
Retreats: This is where Whiteness makes you hang out with it. Usually the officially stated reason for retreats is to build camaraderie. The assumption being that the more time you spend with Whiteness, the more you will like it. Whiteness is blissfully ignorant that the opposite is just as likely in a racist society, that you could like it less after forced proximity. But because it is so thoroughly convinced that it is good company, sometimes Whiteness will have you spend the night at the retreat with it. Anyone who complains about an adult sleepover is “antisocial”, because how could you question such good and earnest company. Often, Whiteness will make you travel for these retreats. It does not notice that 20 minutes in any direction away from Seattle things are…different, if you are brown. Whiteness thinks inclusion means bringing you along with it to places where it is comfortable and because it feels safe, out there, you should too. The idea that you have never been safe in America will only be discussed in the abstract sense while Whiteness tells you how much it loves James Baldwin. Your actual sense of safety is not to be discussed, be grateful, Whiteness planned a whole weekend!
Icebreakers: This is where Whiteness tramples on your boundaries, or pretends you have none because it doesn’t. Whiteness wants to get to know you better, so you will be compelled-likely with or in front of strangers-to tell people you don’t really know personal things about yourself. Isn’t curiosity fun?! The questions can range from the personal to the ridiculous and because Whiteness wants in, you feel obliged to play this game. What does not seem to occur to Whiteness is that our boundaries are trampled whenever we leave home, microaggressions being like oxygen and all. And setting up a situation where a group of people are expected to get in one’s business is very much reminiscent of those Jim Crow hierarchies where Black adults were treated like children, with no boundaries Whiteness had to respect. One of the luxuries of adulthood is having the freedom to choose who you share yourself with. But Whiteness wants to be friends, and everybody goes to work to make friends, don’t they?
Leisure: Whiteness, like any vain master, demands your free time too. That you are required to keep auditioning once you have the job (outside of your actual job performance) is called “team building” by Whiteness. Now, you may have the ungrateful temerity to ask, “aren’t I already part of the team, I got hired didn’t I?” Well yes, Whiteness does think you can do the job written in your job description silly. However, there is a very important aspect of team building you simply must master if you want to advance, and that is making Whiteness comfortable. There are a lot of ways to do this, the most effective is to make Whiteness glad to have you around. The best way to do this is to hold the mirror in front of you at just the right angle, and never let Whiteness know that the mirror only works because you’re holding it. See, everyone is happy when we all cooperate!
Whew! All done. Now, newly arrived person of color, be mindful I’m making the assumption you will adapt this information as you see fit. It is hard enough to be us and make a living at the same time; between the gaslighting open hatred of us by conservatives, and the rapacious vanity of white liberals, caution is always recommended.
Drego Little teaches 5th grade through graduate school in Seattle.
